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Ok so per my last post, I am suddenly traveling alone to Mexico instead of with a good friend (her mom is dying).
I’m thinking through my options. Currently I have 3 1/2 days in a beach town (progreso), then 2 1/2 days alone in Merida which is a very cool city I’ve wanted to spend more time in. Then 2 days mostly with my Spanish teacher who I’m thrilled to meet because we’ve become online friends. Then one more day alone in Merida. and back home.
I can come a day or two late, leaving me with 2 1/2 days or 1 1/2 days at the beach, and/or I can come back a day early, with one less day in Merida.
The problem is that I have to decide this today.
Luckily I am comfortable traveling alone in Mexico, it’s just a big emotional shift. There is a Facebook group for women traveling in Mexico and I generally like the members so I’m going to see if anyone can meet up but obviously it’s different.
If I come back a day early I can go back to work a day early which helps with the money thing. Maybe that’s the answer? Or a day on either end? Will I be sad to have less than 3 days at the beach?
I wish there was someone to make the decision for me.
Also I’m trying not to feel like an asshole when her mom is actually dying but there’s nothing I can do for her now -she doesn’t want people to come visit her because she’s overwhelmed.
@Bronwyn I think this is one of those moments when it's good to remind oneself that two things can be true: your friend can be having a life-changing time, *and* you can be thrown off by a sudden change in plans.
@pcarlson001 yes exactly. Being human is hard that way sometimes. Holding two things at once.
@Bronwyn Yes, and some people (and some opinion-generators in our heads) want to scold and say the big event rules and everyone else should suck it up. As long as you're understanding with the friend who had to cancel for a devastating reason, it's perfectly fine to have a reaction to the disappointment.
@pcarlson001 she would be upset if I canceled because she knows how much I’m soiling forward to the trip and meeting my Spanish teacher IRL.
The thing I can do for her is cancel her hotel rooms (we were doing two rooms because she was bringing her adult daughter) and try to get refunds for those. And if she gives me her airline information, I can see if there’s any options I think that’s all I can do right now is make things a little easier for her logistically
@Bronwyn Yes, those would be very kind things to do for her. I do think that regarding your own plans, you should consider your wants and needs. If you don't want to go alone at this moment, don't. If you want to go, enjoy it. I know it's probably not as cut and dried as that sounds, but you don't have to manage anyone else's feelings about your vacation.
@pcarlson001 I appreciate the kindness and validation.
@Bronwyn why remove days? You want to save them for later when she can go? Or just that those parts are not workable without a companion (for whatever reason, like having to rework things to do is too much trouble last minute or just not enjoyable/safe alone...) ? (When I've had people bail, I usually just go alone, but my travel style is amenable to sudden lack of plans.)
@kingrat neither, just because I was feeling overwhelmed about 11 days mostly alone. But I do like traveling alone in general, it’s just the shift is a lot and I feel rushed since I’m leaving tomorrow.
I’ve done 5-6 days alome but not longer.
@kingrat it’s the “must decide today” part that’s stressing me out.