SFBA.social

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Tony Corsentinomany <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a>, including myself, struggle against idea of the truth as a contested possession—that our bio & adoptive families need and maybe deserve the secrecy that we, in searching, are aiming to destroy. +

Tony Corsentinoand i think that social media has in one respect been a great boon for <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a>, because it has allowed many of us, including myself, to make oblique and mediated contacts with our original families, when the prospect of direct contact with our birthparents might have seemed overwhelming. +

Tony Corsentinoi watched the season finale of a certain show. a central plot point was a character’s oedipally tragic discovery of the truth of their parentage. I think the cultural popularity of the trope of the dangerous family secret is reflected in the ambivalence <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a> face, & feel, in searching. +

Tony Corsentinoreality tends to be more prosaic. <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a> who search very rarely act from a thirst for vengeance. most of us merely want to know and to be known. to be treated as real. +

Tony Corsentinoopponents of opening <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a>’ birth records invoke this idea in the scenario of the angry adoptee at the door, bent on punishing the birthparent for events that happened lifetime ago. +

Tony Corsentinowhy do we allow adopters to inscribe themselves into a child's history--to erase and rewrite it? why can't adult <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a> choose to annul this arrangement? whose interest is served by making the falsification of an adoptee's identity permanent and irrevocable?

Tony Corsentino<a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a> who out themselves as transphobes will always and ever catch the block ❤️

snaffoopsThe family reunion [for my adoptive family] is this weekend. The last time I attended a reunion was probably in 2007. I got married in 2008. I never had a spouse or boyfriend or friend to attend with me. Cousins within my age bracket rarely ever attended & if they did, they either hid away reading a book or were very much better than I at small talk, connecting with distant relatives they probably won't see again till next year. My grandmother was alive & I attended most of the reunions with her. I wanted to. Reunions were typically held at a state park where I could go on brief walks, hikes, play with a camera without making others [or me] feel weird. Late last year, I learned I have biological half-siblings... I'm not going to the a-family reunion this year, though it's been years... it somehow seems so wrong that I would be attending yet another family reunion without my siblings.<a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/adopteevoices" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adopteevoices</a> <a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/adoptees" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a> <a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/adopteefam" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adopteefam</a> <a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/justthoughts" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#justthoughts</a> <a href="https://cupoftea.social/tags/braindump" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#braindump</a>

Tony Corsentinoit’s easy to be committed to restoring the identity rights of <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a>. all you have to worry about are a bunch of really bad arguments for the other side, plus a mountain of hegemonic public opinion shaped by 100 years of pro-adoption propaganda

Tony Corsentinosome of you need to think a whole lot harder about the differences between privacy, secrecy, and anonymity. no one has a privacy right to keep my own identity a secret from me. My identity belongs to me. people seem to care a whole lot about personal autonomy EXCEPT when <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a> demand theirs.

Tony CorsentinoHey it’s been a while since i mentioned the <a class="hashtag" href="https://bsky.app/search?q=%23adoptees" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#adoptees</a> of bluesky feed. if you want to be able to post to the feed but aren’t sure if you can, let me know and i’ll add you! RE: <a href="https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2sfy6irvmfmnwxe4ouhrrn7a/feed/aaadnim25wkmc" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2sfy6irvmfmnwxe4ouhrrn7a/feed/aaadnim25wkmc</a>

AinebetHappy <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/TartanDay" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#TartanDay</a> ! I have known I'm part of the Scots-Irish Burns sept of the Campbell clan for just over a year, after 40 years of secrecy. <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/Adoptees" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#Adoptees</a> have a right to know their families and their histories. Make it legal for us to know who we are! <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdoptionIsTrauma" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#AdoptionIsTrauma</a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdopteeRights" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#AdopteeRights</a>

Ainebet<a href="https://mastodon.social/@corsent" class="u-url mention">@corsent</a> thanks for the warning. It's always triggering to hear truth that's close to mine, but I'm just SO glad people are finally listening! That helps. Most of my 40 years, <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/Adoptees" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#Adoptees</a> have been silenced and disbelieved. It's a good change to hear hard truths being talked about.

AinebetOk so since nobody asked anything yet, let me start - <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdopteesOfMastodon" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#AdopteesOfMastodon</a> - what is a question people ask you often, that you wish you didn't have to answer? Like, what's something that you wish everyone already knew by now, because it's so obvious to us <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/Adoptees" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#Adoptees</a> but non-adopted people don't seem to get it? <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdopteeVoices" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#AdopteeVoices</a> <a href="https://sfba.social/tags/AdoptionCritique" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#AdoptionCritique</a>

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